Thank You

"The LORD is a refuge for the oppressed, a stronghold in time of trouble."- Psalm 9:9

We are feeling the prayers that are being said for us. Please continue to pray. We need all we can get. The prayers that were being said for Carter when he was in the hospital for those 10 long days, were amazing. He felt them, and along with his determination, and personal strength, they helped him hold on one day longer until he just couldn't do it anymore. We will never forget how much support we received during that time, and since then. 

In addition to the prayers about the trial, Carter's first birthday, and our strength to hold up through them, we are in the process of trying to find a house. We are getting into the final 3 months of being in this apartment. Hopefully our last!! We are working on getting our pre-approval letter this week. Fingers crossed for a sizable amount. 

Again, thanks to all that are praying. We love you all. If there is anything or anyone in your life that you would like for us to pray for, PLEASE ASK!! We'll be happy to. Comment, e-mail (Kimberly_shaw89@ymail.com), text, Facebook message. However you prefer.

-We will keep everyone posted-

GOD BLESS!!

A Father-Son Story

Sometimes when I'm down, I will look up inspirational stories. I'll run into sad ones, I'll run into happy ones. Yes, they help. Last night, I found a father and son story. The closer it gets to next Wednesday (the beginning of the trial), and March 1st (Carter's first birthday), the more upsetting things get. We don't show it, but we are both a little... Ahhh!! I worry for Tyler, because he has appeared to handle it well, but emotionally, at times, it hits him like a rock. When I read stories like this one, I think of Tyler and Carter still being together. Making memories. Especially after being told that he will be handicapped, we just didn't know how much, this story really hit me. We miss him. It doesn't just hurt. It freaking sucks.  
Anyway, here's the story... & a story that was written about it in Sports Illustrated...

Team Hoyt: An inspirational, father-son story

Dick Hoyt's son Rick can't walk or talk. After Rick convinced his dad to push him in his wheelchair in a 5 mile race, he told his dad that he didn't feel handicapped when they were competing. Inspired by that, Dick has entered and completed with his son hundreds of competitive races including marathons and triathlons. Their times are impressive. Could you run 6-minute miles pushing a wheelchair for 10 miles?

THE STORY
From Rick Reilly's column in Sports Illustrated:

"Strongest Dad in the World"

I try to be a good father. Give my kids mulligans. Work nights to pay for their text messaging. Take them to swimsuit shoots. But compared with Dick Hoyt, I suck.

Eighty-five times he's pushed his disabled son., Rick, 26.2 miles in marathons. Eight times he's not only pushed him 26.2 miles in a wheelchair but also towed him 2.4 miles in a dinghy while swimming and pedaled him 112 miles in a seat on the handlebars- all in the same day.

Dick's also pulled him cross-country skiing, taken him on his back mountain climbing and once hauled him across the U.S. on a bike. Makes taking your son bowling look a little lame, right?

And what has Rick done for his father? Not much- except save his life.

This love story began in Winchester, Mass., 43 years ago, when Rick was strangled by the umbilical cord during birth, leaving him brain-damaged and unable to control his limbs.

"He'll be a vegetable the rest of his life," Dick says doctors told him and his wife, Judy, when Rick was nine months old. "Put him in an institution."

But the Hoyts weren't buying it. They noticed the way Rick's eyes followed them around the room. When Rick was 11 they took him to the engineering department at Tufts University and asked if there was anything to help the boy communicate. "No way," Dick says he was told. "There's nothing going on in his brain."

"Tell him a joke," Dick countered. They did. Rick laughed. Turns out a lot was going on in his brain."

-January 29, 2009

I haven't decided yet if I want to let Tyler read this story, because it is very emotional. Also, very inspirational. Probably one of the best I have ever read.

You can read more on http://www.teamhoyt.com/

The End of the Tunnel

Bills, bills, bills. Story of our lives. We do ok though. We've never gone without. We're just ready to get Tyler's debt paid off, and my credit cards paid off. Today, we got a solid feeling of relief. By April 30th, we will have paid off almost $5,000 worth of bills and debt. Finally got Tyler's bank accounts paid off and closed. Ready to open a new one, and for me to get the heck away from US, and onto a bank that has sensible policies. 

Oh yes, we're freaking excited!! A fresh start.. No more past.. All GONE!! All forward for us!! 

We'll be saving almost $150 a month once we pay these off. Finally, the financial storm is coming to an end. For now. Hopefully for a while. 

All smiles :))

Interesting Facts & Weird Ancient Laws

Some random facts I found on my "Cool Facts" app on my phone.. [..it doesn't take much to amuse me.. ;)]

• Reno, Nevada is west of Los Angeles, California.
• 23% of all photocopier faults worldwide are caused by people sitting on them and photocopying their butts.
• Nazi leader Adolf Hitler had only one testicle.
• Fried spiders taste like nuts.
• To burn off one plain M&M candy, you need to walk the full length of a football field.
• Istanbul, Turkey is the only city in the world that is located on two continents.
• Horse can't vomit and pigs can't look up in the sky.
• Nutmeg is extremely poisonous if injected intravenously.
• Dogs and cats, like humans, are either right handed or left handed.
• "Goodbye" came from "God bye" which came from "God be with you."
• Wasps that feed on fermet occasionally get drunk and pass out.
• A person who is lost in the woods and starving can obtain nourishment by chewing on his shoes. Leather has enough nutritional value to sustain life for a short time.
• In the 1920's, Q-Tips were invented by Leo Gerstenzeng who got the idea after watching his wife clean their baby's ears with cotton stuck onto a toothpick.
• Babies are born without knee caps.
• The name Jeep comes from the abbreviation used in the army for theGeneral Purpose vehicle, G.P.
• Every continent has a city called Rome.
• Kissing is healthier than shaking hands. [THiS iS WHY i KiSS MY HUSBAND ;)~]
• Flamingos pee on their legs to cool themselves off.
• Brazil is the location of the worlds widest road; 160 cars can drive side by side.
• Back in 1924, a monkey was convicted in South Bend of the crime of smoking a cigarette and sentenced to pay a $25 fine and the trial costs.
• The FDA allows an average of 30 or more insect fragments and one or more rodent hairs per 100 grams of peanut butter.
• To take an oath, ancient Romans put a hand on their testicles, and that is where the word "testimony" comes from.
• The phrase "rule of thumb" is derived from an old English law which stated that you couldn't beat your wife with anything wider than your thumb.
• There is a cemetery town in California named Colma. Concerns about the public health, crime, and the need for space forced the city of San Francisco to outlaw burials in 1902. The city of Colma, which is five miles south of SF, was established to bury the dead. The ratio of dead to living people is 750 to 1.
• In 1976, an LA secretary named Jannene Swift officially married a 50lb rock in a ceremony witnessed by more than 20 people.
• Cats cannot taste sweet things.
• The powder on chewing gum is finely-ground marble.
• There was no punctuation until the 15th century.
• Smokey the Bear's zip code is 20252.
• The name Wendy was made up for the book Peter Pan.
• At Andrew Jackson's funeral, his pet parrot had to be removed from the ceremory because it was swearing.
• To escape the grip of a croc's jaws, push your thumbs into its eyeballs. It will instantly let go.
• All of the Earth's continents are wider at the north than in the south- and nobody knows why.
• 40% of all people at a party will snoop in your medicine cabinet.
• Most dust particles in your house are made from dead skin.
• Walt Disney is afraid of mice.
• In 1980, the city of Detroit presented Saddam Hussein with a key to the city.

Really Weird & Ancient Laws

• In Halethrope, MD, kisses longer than one second are illegal.
• In Memphis, TN, it is illegal for a woman to drive by herself. A man must walk or run in front of the vehicle, waving a red flag to warn approaching pedestrians and motorists.
• In Los Angeles, CA, it is legal for a man to beat his wife with a leather strap as long as it is less than two inches in width, or she gives him permission to use a wider strap.
• In Greene, NY, it is illegal to eat peanuts and walk backwards on the sidewalks when a concert is on.
• In Miami, FL, it is illegal for men to be seen publicly in any kind of strapless gown.
• In Natoma, KS, it is illegal to throw knives at men wearing striped suits.
• In WV, it is legal for one to take roadkill home for dinner.
• In Duluth, MN, it is illegal to allow animals to sleep in a bakery.
• In NC, it is illegal to make love on the floor of a hotel room between two double beds.

I love reading stuff like this.. Hey, you never know when you might need to know some of this stuff..

Family Valentine's Dinner

Family Valentine's dinner was AWESOME!! It was very nice to be praised for the hours I put into preparing & cooking. I'm not a cooker. But tonight, I was!!

Green Bean Bundles & Pesto Chicken Rigatoni (me)
Homemade Mashed Potatoes, Corn, Dinner Rolls, & Salad (thanks Mom)

It felt good knowing my hard work paid off quickly. It made me happy. I actually teared up a little hearing several times how good I did. I know, I'm such a baby. 

But, all in all, a good night. Full tummies, a clean house, clean kitchen, laundry done. All free for time with hubbs tomorrow night!! 

HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY, EVERYONE!!

Thanks To Those Who Serve Us.. & Their Families

My dad has been really heavy on my heart today.  I miss him everyday, but some days, his absense hits me hard.  I know that sounds weird to those who know me, because only 2 of my friends knew my dad.  Which obviously meant he wasn't around... ever!! But he is my dad, nevertheless, and I miss him.

My dad was a wonderful poet.  He was always writing.  It was his special talent.  I only have a few poems that he wrote, though.  One was personalized to me.  And the other one, we had published in the Arkansas Democrat Gazette for his final Christmas present.  He didn't really know what we had done at this point, but we thought it would be a nice thing to do. 

My dad wasn't in the armed forces, but he was a soldier.  He fought his battle of cancer for several years.  Fought until he couldn't fit anymore.  I have a few friends who have family in the military, all branches, and I thought they might like to read this.  He wrote this poem for the ones who fight for us and help us keep our freedom.

"They Gave Their Lives"

Some of our Veterans,

Fought hard and died.

Just to show,

They had some pride.

They fought for us,

High in demand.

To protect us,

And our land.

Some come home,

Others were lost.

Many bad feelings,

Many tossed.

God be with their families,

Kids and wives.

It was for us,

They gave their lives.

-David P. Long

Picture courtesy of Google Images

Thanks to all that serve our country and to the families who support them.

We truly ARE the "Home of the Brave."

GOD BLESS

My Little Love On Four Legs

I've been fighting sleep for almost 3 hours now. I have heart burn like crazy, thanks to the fast food that I ate for dinner.. (I hardly ever eat fast food).. And JJ knows mommy don't feel good. He is now laying here, curled into my arms, motor running at full speed, watching me type this. My "bubba" always knows when I need his lovin' the most. He's such a good cat. Life wouldn't be the same without him. 

Tocophobia

Tocophobia- the fear of being pregnant... (Don't laugh)

I've always wanted children. Or at least I thought so. I don't know. It's all a confusing situation. Honestly, I'm scared of being a mother. But if I never choose to have children, I'm afraid I'll regret it. I'm afraid of a lot of things. And instead of people supporting me, I get the "well, you'll grow out of that." Maybe so. Probably so. But who is to say? I can't help my fears. It's not like this is riding a bike for the first time. This is about changing my life forever. Both of our lives. Taking care of another life that needs so much.

Fears:
•Gaining weight... I've never weighed more than 125 lbs.. (call me stupid)
•Giving up our freedom... Once he/she is in there, there's no going back. You have to see it til the end. We love living our life- just us two. We enjoy our time together. Our selfish time.
•Are we right for the job?
•Will Tyler love our baby as much as he loved Carter? ...(we have had that talk, & as I suspected, I over thought it.. & I know he would love our baby the same.. The fear still remains though)
•Will I be able to carry to term without complications?
•Will we feel the obligation to tell him/her about Carter?
•Will I be able to see my baby grow up?
•Would my body be able to handle it? (I have been tested for lupus a few times, and nothing was actually confirmed, but I am not physically strong, and have serious aches and pains that are unexplained).
•Will we be ready?
•Will we be happy, or will I spend my first months or years with post pardum depression?

I know this sounds crazy, because those who know me know that I absolutely LOVE kids. I've worked in 3 daycares, and currently work with Pre-k. And I study Developmental Psychology. I love kids. That's just me. But, I'm only responsible for caring for them during the day. I don't do this 24/7. At 6pm, I come home to Tyler and it's just us. I don't have the responsibility of another life. And, yes, I'm sorry, it's a relief. I'd already posted in a previous post about now not being the time for a baby. But I never mentioned some of this. But the  basis of this is indeed fear. I fear becoming pregnant. I feel very guilty about it too. Almost all my friends have kids. I don't want to rob my family of the joy of being a grandparents, aunts, uncles, 2nd cousins, greats... Etc. And for Tyler to be able to experience a second at being a father. But, again, it makes me sick to think I could become pregnant. At least until I can get over or control my fears.

Thanks to those who support me. Sorry to those who this offends. I pray for myself that I will be able to overcome this fear of mine, and that we will get to experience parenthood one day, because I do want it, my fear just overpowers it.

Again, thanks for your dedication to reading this.. Sorry it was so long :)

Another Snow Day... Woooo!!

Wednesday, February 9, 2011... Aka: 3rd Snow Day of the Year!!!

2:30AM- go to bed
7:00AM- wake Tyler up for work
8:00AM- he calls me & says he's on his way home & that the interstate is already covered. 
8:30AM- my alarm was set to wake up & go deposit my paycheck. Turns out, snow was packed on roads... Ahh!!
9:00AM- venture out to the bank & grocery store... (They were out of whole & 2% milk).
9:30AM- back to sleep til...
1:30PM- up to clean, eat, sled, & watch tv. 
Then til now!!!

Basically, this day was a total waste. But, now that I know for sure that I'm not working tomorrow, I can actually make the day productive. Yay, cleaning!! 

Life is Full of Wonderful Surprises

Let's just start by saying.. It's freakin Tuesday, almost Wednesday, and I feel like it's Friday..

That's always a cool feeling, yet disappointing when you realize your only half way through the week. It's been crazy, thus far. Monday, a very close friend of ours surprised us with a marriage license in which listed his name and the young lady's who sat across from us. SHOCK?? ....Ummmm, HELL YEAHHHHH!!! But we've chosen to support them, being the wonderful people we are. We know what it's like to fight odds, and criticism. And plus, how hard it can be at times.

Olivia Phoenix Persinger was born at 12:35am on February 8 at 7lbs 7oz 20in. She is the most beautiful baby I've ever seen. I ended up going alone to see her. Tyler couldn't handle the hospital/baby situation again. It was hard for me too. But I wanted to see her. Did I mention how beautiful she is? Maybe not enough. She is so beautiful. I got her to make some puckery faces ;) too cute!! I am so happy for Drew and Monica. They are going to be amazing parents.

Well, I'm not sure that anything more major than a birth and a marriage has happened this week. I have to say that until this afternoon, my brain was in complete overload. I think I'm calm now.

Ok, goodnight :)

Prayers

I'm starting to have a really difficult time handling things. Tyler tries to keep me on the positive side, but it doesn't always work. I don't even know why I worry about certain things either. It's pointless and a total waste of energy. I just want to relax again. We're slowly but surely getting ourselves out of debt. Trying to get all the past paid off. Yes, I'm helping pay stuff that I wasn't involved in. You shouldn't ask why. It's pretty obvious. Some of them are coming close to being paid off :). So again, I don't know why I get so upset. Maybe it's because I've been sick on and off for a while and I'm not only physically worn out, but mentally and emotionally. We've got a lot going on in our lives. I think both of us feel a little overwhelmed at times. But I have faith, even if only a little, that things will work themselves out. They always do. 

We have a busy week ahead of us. Today, Tyler starts back in college :) So proud of him!! Olivia will be here after 5 tonight.. & along with everyone else, we are so ready to meet her. It's gonna be a tear fest I'm sure. She'll be the first baby that Tyler has held since Carter. I pray he'll be ok to hold her. I've had to make myself be ok with it. She'll be beautiful!! This week, we start paying bills for the month. It's never been as scary as it is now. Again, I'm sure it'll work itself out. Afterall, our tax refunds come in this week :). 

I also have another thing thats weighing on my mind. An old friend called me out of the blue and came by the other day. Part of me wasn't all excited to see her. I'm hoping that's because I was sick and didn't want company really. Because if it's not, I'm gonna be made to feel like crap for something I can't control. You can't make yourself happy about something. Can you? 

Anyway, that's all I've got. A lot on my mind. Trusting God will pull us through this, and give us strength when we are weak. 

There is a God... How Much Proof Do You Need?

A very close friend of mine from HSU introduced me the fabulous man you hear in this video. He came to our wedding, and I so wish I knew him better at the time. I wanted a wedding singer so bad. (My military singers had to back out a couple months before so I said forget it).

Anyway, I had been watching his YouTube uploads of songs people had been requesting him to sing. At this point, I had only heard him sing songs that were performed by male artists. I asked him if he could sing a song performed by a female vocalist. Before I saw his comment, I saw that he had uploaded "My Heart Will Go On" by Celine Dion. It was beautiful. I knew then that I wanted him to sing my favorite song which is "There is a God" by Leann Womack. Very few times can I hear this song without getting chills or a few tears.

This song means a lot to me. I've had the hardest time explaining to people why it hits me so hard just because I don't know how to word my thoughts correctly. Irony is probably the best word to describe it.

When Tyler got the call that Carter's mom was in labor, he headed to Russellville for the night. From about noon when he left until around 5PM when he got home after Carter was born, I heard this song 3 times. Once on YouTube and twice on the radio. From then on, I associated this song with Carter. After his death in August, I had no idea that this song was going to actually mean something. I ended up using part of the lyrics on a Christmas project that I created for Tyler. It all fell too into place. It was almost like... I don't know. It's had me wondering. But it's all too true. There is a God, and so
many things around to prove it.

WE MISS YOU SO MUCH, CARTER!! Your that proof that God is good!! SEE YOU AGAIN SOON, LITTLE MAN!!

The Original Video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1s9l5EvHeQs&feature=youtube_gdata_player

Anthony's A Capella: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jEnM5elRysk&feature=youtube_gdata_player

February

This month is going to be CRAAAAZYYY!!

Week 1 of the month of February is National Baby Week... How ironic!! Olivia is due this Saturday, the 5th.. Today, the 1st, Carter would have been 11 months old.. Wish he was here!!

Today is also a good friend ours' birthday.. Happy 20th Drew!!

Valentine's Day is less than 2 weeks away, and I have to get everything ready for that..

The trial for Carter's death is in 3 weeks, & things are pretty iffy.. Here, emotions are running high, and thoughts about it are all over the place.. We don't know!!

Kayla is due to have Riley anywhere from 3-4 weeks from now..

Other things, remain untold, for now ;)