2011 in a list

Every year around this time, I try to reflect on things that have happened during the year and make a list of them. I can look back on how drastically...or not so drastically...my life has changed. Some people do "50 things in (year)" but I can't always think of that many things or have that many things that happen.

This is what has happened in 2011

1. Had my first encounter with police for something other than a traffic ticket.
2. Had a themed Christmas tree.
3. Got a ticket on a holiday.
4. My car was in it's first wreck.
5. Held an event for someone's memorial.
6. Got fired from a job.
7. Moved into a new house.
8. Started a small business with mom.
9. Looked forward to Razorback football.
10. Tried grits (they were okay)
11. Got my first gun.
12. Got to spend NYE out with my husband instead of at a house party like every year.

This is all I can think of. Next year, I need to keep an on going list.

Happy New Year!!!!

New Year's Resolutions

Every year I make resolutions and I never keep them. Who ever really does? I'm sure there are a few that are very good at keeping up with their commitments; however, I am not one of them. I was indecisive about making resolutions for this new year, but I think that I will make a few simple ones. Some of them are personal and some horrible habits that I have that I need to break (I won't list those). But one of my big resolutions that I am making for myself is to not talk bad about people. It is one that we should all make. The cold hard honest truth about it though... it is hard!!! It is so easy to criticize people and to say what we think about someone or something whether it is nice or not. I will be the first to admit that I am the worst about it. I plan to change that.

If you ask anyone, they will say that one of their favorite things about me is that I am blunt and honest. I still hope that people see me as honest, but I don't want to be so blunt with people anymore. I don't want to be mean. I don't want people to see me as the "bitch" and so "cut throat" about stuff.

I think that it is a reasonable and doable resolution for the upcoming year. Feel free to put me in my place if I start to fail at it. Please do!!

As for the other resolutions that I am not naming, I will just say that not only will I be a nicer person, I will be a healthier person as well. I am just too embarrassed to name them.

Stay safe on New Year's Eve. Happy New Year's!!!

Another Wonderful Christmas

Yesterday I posted a status that said "Family is everything to me. You can never give too many hugs, too many kisses, or too many "I love you's." This is how I always feel about my family, but during the holidays, I feel it even more. I have been so blessed with such wonderful families. We got great gifts and plenty of money to enjoy ourselves. That's not what it was about to me though. The older I get, the more I just want to be with my family. I am thankful for all of the wonderful gifts we recieved. But most of all, I am thankful for the love of our families and the time that we have been given to spend with them.

Merry Christmas!!

Mmmm.. So Yummy!!!

I love Pinterest. There is no doubt about that. I have become addicted. I love DIY crafts, ideas for canvas, and recipes. I wanted to make a quick post for some quick and affordable appetizers that I think y'all would enjoy.

CHICKEN ROLL-UPS

1 package cream cheese
1 package crescent rolls (6 count)
2 shredded cooked chicken breasts
1.5 cup grated cheddar cheese
1 cup Monterey Jack
1/4 teaspoon salt
1/4 teaspoon pepper
bread crumbs
1/4 stick melted butter

Combine all of the ingredients. Spoon onto crescents. Roll them up making sure they are sealed around the chicken mix. Brush tops with butter and sprinkle with bread crumbs. Bake at 350 F for 20-25 minutes. To reheat, just place in a 325 F for 15 minutes

 http://jennasjourneyblog.blogspot.com/2010/09/chicken-roll-ups.html

PIZZA BITES


1/2 batch Perfect Pizza Crust dough

mozzarella cheese, about 20 cubed pieces

sliced pepperoni

For topping:
olive oil
Italian seasoning
grated Parmesan cheese

Preheat the oven to 400˚F.  Lightly grease a 9-inch pie plate or cake pan.  Divide the pizza dough into roughly 20 equal sized pieces.  Take one of the dough pieces and press in a cube of cheese and two slices of pepperoni.  Pull the edges of the dough down around the filling and seal.  Place in the pan, seam side down.  Repeat with remaining dough.  Each piece of dough should be touching each other in the pan. (It may seem crowded, but will be fine.) Lightly brush the tops of the dough with olive oil. Sprinkle on Italian seasoning and Parmesan cheese.  Bake for 20 minutes or until golden brown.  Serve warm or at room temperature, with dipping sauce if desired.

http://penniesonaplatter.com/2010/02/15/pizza-bites/

PEPPERONI ROLL-UPS

Crescent Rolls

Pepperoni

String Cheese

Ranch and Marinara Sauce

Separate crescent rolls into triangles. Place 4-5 pepperonis on each triangle and top with half a string of cheese. Roll up and bring up sides to seal.

Bake according to the directions that are on the crescent roll package.

http://dinnerwiththedonnells.blogspot.com/search/label/Pizza

For more ideas that I have found, visit my Pinterest board for recipes.

Not What You'd Expect...

What do you think that I would ask for from someone for Christmas? What is the first thing that would come to your mind?

...I don't really ask for much. I am not a materialistic person. Everyone pretty much knows that about me. I like things. I like nice things. I like old, antiquey things. I want a lot of things. But I fight temptations a lot..... A LOT!!!!

This year we said that we were going to be in a house by Christmas. Around the end of September, I would have called Tyler's bluff whenever he made me that promise. I am glad that I kept my faith and stayed on the positive side. We couldn't be happier in this place. The best part... we share it. We also said that this was our Christmas present to each other. We were in a bind for a little bit when we first moved in and that was okay. We just said that we weren't going to over-extend ourselves like we have in past Christmases. Well, Tyler changed his mind last minute. He went and bought me.... yep, my first gun!!! My first shotgun. It is a Mossberg 410. Oh, lordy!! I have no idea what all that means, yada yada, but I know how to shoot it. I don't know what it sounds like, but I know how to shoot it.

Get this, the first question I ask Tyler- "What do I shoot with this?" (Don't laugh) It was a legit question, right? Anyway, I am going to shoot my first deer or squirrel... or something on Monday. I AMMMM!!!

A shotgun for Kim. Not what you'd expect.

2012 for Carter

Things have been so crazy the past couple months (every since we moved into the new house) and I have completely sucked a putting together monthly giveaways in honor of Carter. I honestly don't know if it is something that is truly in my heart to do. There is no right way to say that (or at least I can't find the words to say what I mean). I know that Tyler's way completely in favor of doing the memorial events that we did for Carter's first year in Heaven.

My question for everyone is... should I continue the giveaways and under what terms?

Should I do something else each month... make something for Carter?
Or should I just "forget" about it?

I do realize that we do not have to do physical things to keep him in our memory. We will always remember him. That is not even in question. I know the decision will ultimately be what my heart tells us to do, but I think we need a little guidance from our friends and family. "Whatever you feel is best" or "Whatever you want to do" are not things that I want to hear. If I did what I wanted to do then I wouldn't be asking for personal opinions. I really would like some opinions and some guidance through this.

It is something that I have had on my heart for a long time. It will always be on my heart.

If Heaven had a phone number...

I have seen people post this status several times but I had a genuine conversation with someone about this the other day. She asked me if Heaven had a phone number who are three people I would call and what would I ask them or talk to them about? It didn't take much thought, but I was glad to have the conversation with her. So, to answer for everyone else, if Heaven had a phone number, I would call Carter, my dad, and my mother-in-law.

To Carter, I would ask him how he was doing and tell him that I love him very much. I would tell him how wonderful his daddy is. I would let him know that we think about him everyday. I would tell him about all of the things that we have done to keep his memory alive. I would ask him who hurt him. I would ask him if he realized that his daddy and I had his best interest at heart and trusted that we love him dearly. I would ask him if he is proud of both of us (mainly Tyler).

To my dad, I would also tell him that I love and miss him. I would ask him why he didn't want to quit smoking and drinking so much. I would ask him what his one piece of sound advice would be. I would ask him if he was proud of me for picking such an amazing man to be part of my life. I would ask him what the one thing he could do if he came back on Earth would be. I would ask him if he remembered us being in the hospital with him while he took his final breaths. I would ask him if he still loves my mom.

To my mother-in-law, I would tell her that I wish I could have met her. I would tell her that I have found an amazing partner in her son. I would tell her to that she was a very beautiful woman. I would ask her if she is proud of her son and all of his accomplishments. I would ask her if she approves of me to be her daughter-in-law. I would also ask her what would be the one thing she would do if she could come back on this Earth for a moment.

I know that it seems like I live off of "what-ifs." I honestly think that a lot of people do. We just don't all like to be honest about how we truly feel about many things. I am not afraid to express my feelings and talk to people who "aren't there." It is a part of life. It is not weird to write letters to people who have passed, nor is it weird to just sit down, look up, or close your eyes and just talk to that person. Personally, it is a good way of coping for me. That's all I have to say about that.

So, if Heaven had a phone number, who are three people that you would call and what would you say to them or ask them?

The Simple Things in Life

I have been thinking about starting a new blog or at least redesigning this one. Whenever I was thinking about the design on this one, I wanted to go simple and keep the name So Live Your Life. Someone said "You know that's a Rhianna song?" Yes, I am very aware of that. But listen to the lyrics. I still have to make the paper, but I live my life. There are some rough patches along the way, but overall, I enjoy my life. Tyler has saved me from leading such a sheltered life. He has opened my eyes to new things. Things that I might not have been exposed to without him. I am thankful for each and every moment that I have spent with him. Even the not-so-good moments. They have all been learning experiences.

I just wanted to take some time and list things that make me smile on a daily basis. The things that keep me going are the small...simple things in life.

• My kids. The funny things they say. The look on their face and the excitement in their voice when they accomplish something and learn something new.
• Tyler. He is always able to make me laugh with the random and funny things that he does. He has a contagious personality. He doesn't even know how funny he is.
• My cat. Same goes with him. He has a wonderful personality. He entertains himself half of the time. He is also the most photogenic animal I have ever seen.
• Kristen. She been there unconditionally for me I don't know how many times. She is a true friend and a blessing in my life.
• My mom. She is always there for me. My life would be horrible without her. I don't even know if I could live life like this without her.
• My sister. She is one of my best friends and is always there if I need to talk. I can't imagine my life without her either.
• I like reminiscing on funny memories, looking at old videos, looking at old pictures, hearing old stories (involving and not involving me).

Dreams

Dreams, dreams, dreams. I swear I have one every night. One night I wish I could just relax and sleep and not have to dream. Last night...this morning actually...I got to see Carter in my dreams. It was a bittersweet moment. We only know what he looks like up to 5 months and 3 days old. But somehow, I got to see him at 22 months old and I dreamt of him just like I would imagine what he would look like. I woke up with a few tears this morning. I got to run and play with him. I got to have him lay down and take a nap with me. I wish that I didn't have to dream. I wish that Tyler didn't have to imagine. I wish that he could be here right now and have everything perfect. How good is it to wish something that isn't going to come true? It will eventually be true though. We will have him back in Heaven. Things will be perfect one day. We will be living the dream instead of dreaming the dream. I can't wait for that day.

Christmas in the Shaw House

I promised I would post pictures of some of our Christmas decorations. They may be too simple for some, but for my first time really decorating my home for Christmas, I think that I did pretty well.



The counter with my handmade snowman canvas

The front door



The Christmas tree



The front table... my favorite

The kitchen table

The new shelf



The kitchen table...again



Our Anniversary Weekend

I never posted much about our first anniversary weekend, but it was...amazing!! We had so much fun the night before our anniversary. We went out to Denton's Back Porch (our favorite hangout) and we had a blast. We always look forward to going out there and having a good time...and seeing the pictures afterward. I thought I would share a few pictures that we were captured in.

Does it look like we had a good time? Oh you have no idea!!

Good Christmas Cookin'

One of my favorite things about Christmas is the good recipes. I have about a million this year. We are not much on eating sweets (getting worse though) but I do have some good party recipes and desserts to make. I thought I would share some of them. Hope you try and like them.

Pesto and Cream Cheese Appetizer- One block of cream cheese (8 oz) and a jar of Classico Pesto (there is only one brand that makes it, I believe and they don't sell it everywhere. I get mine at Target in the pasta section). You slice the block of cream cheese in half horizontally. Spread some of the pesto (a good amount) all over the half block and then place the other half on top and do the same with that piece. Serve with your favorite snack crackers. My sister-in-law made this last Christmas and it was practically to die for. I am making it this weekend for the Christmas party.

Red Velvet Cheesecake Brownies

• 1/2 cup butter
• 2-oz dark chocolate, coarsely chopped
• 1 cup sugar
• 2 large eggs
• 1 tsp vanilla extract
• 1 1/2 tsp red food coloring
• 2/3 cup all purpose flour
• 1/4 tsp salt
• 8-oz cream cheese, room temperature
• 1/3 cup sugar
• 1 large egg
• 1/2 tsp vanilla extract

Directions:

1. Preheat oven to 350F. Butter the bottom and sides of a 8 inch metal baking pan. Put a long piece of parchment paper in the bottom of the pan, letting the parchment extend up two sides of the pan and overhang slightly on both ends. (This will make it easy to remove the bars from the pan after they have baked.) Butter the parchment.
2. In a small, heatproof bowl, melt butter and chocolate together. Stir until combined and very smooth. Set aside to cool for a few minutes.
3. In a large bowl, whisk together sugar, eggs, vanilla extract and red food coloring. Add chocolate mixture and stir until smooth. Add flour and salt and stir until just combined and no streaks of dry ingredients remain.
4. Pour into prepared pan and spread into an even layer.
5. To prepare cheesecake mixture, beat cream cheese, sugar, egg and vanilla extract in a medium bowl until smooth. Distribute the cheesecake mixture in 8 dollops over batter in the pan. Swirl in with a knife or spatula.
6. Bake for 35-40 minutes, until brownies and cheesecake are set. A knife inserted into the cheesecake mixture should come out clean and the edges will be lightly browned.
7. Let cool completely in pan on a cooling rack before lifting out the parchment paper to remove the brownies.

This is just 2 that I decided to share, but I have so many more. I am so excited to have my own kitchen to cook in now. Yay!! If you make either one of these, be sure to let me know how they turn out.

Too much...

I never thought I would say that I have too much stuff to decorate with. Oh, but this year, the year that I said that I would allow Christmas to "throw up" in our house, I HAVE TOO MUCH!!! I am not too torn about it though. I like our decorations. I still feel like I want to decorate a little more even though Christmas is in 2 weeks and then I'll have to take it all down. Our Christmas party is in less than 2 days and I want people to "ohhh" and "ahhh" over the house. I want to be complimented on decorations. The guys aren't going to care obviously, but maybe someone will like what we have done. I don't have pictures right now :( but I will post them as soon as I finish my decorating tomorrow.

Tis the season!!

Toy Cars & Water Guns

Ever since before Carter was born, all Tyler could talk about are things that he wanted to do with him and what kind of toys he wanted to buy him. Christmas is one of the hardest times for Tyler, whether he shows it or not. It seems like everywhere we go, he is picking up big toys saying "If Carter were here..." He smiles when he says it because I can tell he thinks about the fun he would be having, but you know it has to hurt him deep down. There really isn't much to say about it. It is what it is.

It's a feeling that cannot be explained, nor can be understood by anyone who has never experienced something like this. I have said that so many times that it is probably becoming annoying. But it's true. It's hard. There is no other word that fits the situation as much as...hard. Everyone who is able to buy toys for their child(ren) this year, cherish it. You don't know how lucky you are. You really cannot imagine your life without them.

So, we will just have to settle with our imaginary moments, what we think things would be like, and be thankful that we DO know where to find him. We are only spending our days without him in our presence. He is still...and always...in our hearts.

We love you, Carter Greyson Shaw!! Merry 2nd Christmas, baby!!!

"Be happy"... I know, easier said than done

Overall, I am happy with my life. I have a wonderful family and great set of friends. I have a great job. I have a roof over my head. Food on the table. Gas in the car. Money to pay bills (even though I don't have much left over when I do). I have so much more than some people have. But sometimes it is still hard to be completely happy with life. I think that I have too high of expectations for people and for things in my life. I get this picture in my head of what things are supposed to be like and if things do not go that way, then I am a little disappointed, I guess. I finally brought it back up to my doctor that I need something to calm my nerves. I have yet to try both sets of medication that he put me on, but that was more like my mom telling me how one of them might affect me seeing as how she knows how medication treats me. For the most part, I am doing really well. I have only had 2 days since I have been on it that I felt like it didn't really work. It's not a cure-all so I am not a totally new person, but I feel like there has been a major change since I have been on it. One thing that I dreaded being on medication was feeling tired all of the time and being sick at my stomach the first week that I was on it. I also thought that I could just make myself be happy. Like I said, it's easier said than done. "1...2...3...Be happy." Yeah right. It doesn't work that way. Ignoring the problem(s) doesn't work. Period. There are so many good things in my life, but because I have let the bad override the good, I couldn't focus on what was important. In a sense, I was ruining my life. I was pushing everyone away that was important to me. I am proud that I finally took the first step in helping myself. That was to accept that I needed help to be happy. One thing that I want people to know is that you cannot rely on people to make you happy. If you are unhappy on the inside, there is nothing that people can do to change that if you have a chemical imbalance. You cannot make someone be happy. You have to be happy with yourself to be completely happy with someone else. I am on my way to be a happier daughter, a happier sister, a happier wife, a happier friend, a happier teacher, a happier co-worker... a happier person.

30 days of thankfulness- Wrap up

To end this month of thankfulness, I would just like to say that I am thankful for my family. That has been the bulk of what this month was about. I would not be where I am right now without my family. My friends are very important to me, but my family will always be there for me. Friends come and go. I was able to see the full proof in that last March. I am proud of my family. They bring so much warmth to my heart and a big smile to my face. I can't thank God enough for blessing me with such a wonderful group of people in my life. Thank you, infinity.

A Proud Moment..

My latest creation. I am proud of myself. Thanks for all of the compliments.

30 days of thankfulness- Days 25, 26, 27

November 25- I am thankful that there was nothing in the world that I needed or wanted so badly that I would have tried to tackle the crowds of Black Friday. I know that sounds silly, but I am thankful that I am not that materialistic...and crazy!!

November 26- I am thankful for the day that I got to spend with Tyler. We antique shopped all day and spend the day together spending very little money and doing something that was fun for us. I am glad that we share that in common. It is something simple and fun to do for the both of us.

November 27- I am thankful for 2 years with Tyler. We spent our 2 year anniversary together today. I am thankful that I took my boss' advice and gave Tyler a chance. It led me to a wonderful marriage and to meet my best friend. I wouldn't trade what I have with him for the world.

Thankfulness & Emptiness

After settling down from a very long day, I now have time to sit down and get this out of my head. I am so grateful that I was able to spend this day with my husband, two of our best friends, one of their mother's, my mom, my sister and brother-in-law. It was a very long and exhausting day preparing our dinner tonight, but I am thankful that it turned out amazing and delicious.

In the midst of all of this thankfulness, I could not help but to wonder how things would be if Carter were here. We got to see pictures of one of our best friends daughter with whipped cream all over her face from eating her first piece of pumpkin pie. I only wish that we were able to experience something like that with Carter. I with that he were here to have been able to eat his first piece of turkey. There is a sense of emptiness most of the time, and especially around the holidays. Last year was really hard because it was the first set of holidays that we had to be without him. Not to say that we are not always going to be a little sad during the holidays, but I think now that we have gotten over the "first years" that it will get a little easier each time.

We did mention being thankful because Carter is in Heaven celebrating the holidays, but it is still not the same. We are naturally selfish people when it comes to the loss of a loved one. We want it all. We want them here. It is hard to think that God deserves your loved ones more than you do. But it is true.

I hope that everyone had a wonderful and blessed Thanksgiving. Root on the Hogs tomorrow.

30 days of thankfulness- Day 23 & 24

I know that I am not going to have time to post tomorrow because we will be busy cleaning and cooking for company and visiting with friends and family so I am going to post for today and tomorrow. For both days, and others that I have posted on, I am thankful for my friends and family. I do not have many friends, but what I do have, I am very appreciative of. I love them and my family with every fiber of my being. They have helped me and us through so much. They say that once something bad happens, that is a true test to see who your real friends are. We definetely believe in that now. We have one of the strongest support systems that I have ever seen. I am so grateful to have my mother. She is the kindest person that I know. She has such a big heart for everything. I am thankful for all that she has done for us. I am thankful for my sister who is always there for me. I am thankful for my husband who has shown me a different way of viewing life. He has allowed me to open up and have fun. He has warmed my heart so much over the past two years. I am thankful for Carter, who although only stayed on this Earth for five months, he should and taught Tyler and I more than anyone can understand and realize. I am thankful for Tyler's grandmother who has pulled us out of so many financial ruts. I am thankful for Tyler's family who accepted me very quickly and trusted me to take care of and love Tyler unconditionally. I am thankful that my family accepted Tyler for the same reason. I know that I have repeated a lot of my thanks, but family and friends are everything that makes me what I am today. And for that, I will always treasure my relationships with them.

Happy Thanksgiving, Everyone!!!

30 days of thankfulness- Day 22

Today I am thankful for Paxil. I have finally found a medication that works well for my anxiety, stress, and depression. It is making me feel a little funny right now because it is just now getting into my system, but I have noticed over just the past two days that my stress has really decreased. Things don't seem to bother me as much. I don't fully understand how these medications work, but I do know that I am starting to feel a difference.

Also to add to this, just because someone is on anti-depressants doesn't make them any less of a person. It is just the way the world is nowadays. Things happen in our everyday lives that contribute to hard times. If you could even imagine putting yourself in mine...or Tyler's... shoes, you tell me if you wouldn't be doing the same thing.

30 days of thankfulness- Day 21

Today I am thankful for weather alerts. Although my phone was blown up all day yesterday with flood warnings and tornado watches, I am thankful that the convenience of knowing those things is available. I love storms, but I also like to know how severe they are going to be so I can be prepared for the worst. I know that this might sound like something silly to be thankful for, but those who have had to deal with the devastation of tornados and other severe weather related tragedies would be thankful for them too.

Relationships & Marriage

"The problem with relationships & marriages these days is the lack of compromise & selfishness of one or both. Tyler & I are by no means perfect, but when you look at what we do for each other & how we carry & lift each other up, we have what keeps a marriage strong."

I posted this status earlier. There are many reasons that I believe this. First off, let me just say that selfish people do not work well with anyone. When it is all about you then it is not about anyone else. I hear people all the time talk about how they are in their relationships and things that they expect from their significant other. One prime example; Someone told me one time that she would not do anything nice for this particular guy until she had a "big ole rock" on her finger. And yes, she was very serious about the big ole rock. I guess stuff like that just bothers me because a ring is a ring. That does not define what the marriage is. It is a symbol, yes, but it is not everything. I picked a very simple and inexpensive ring. Anyway, back on subject. People expect so much out of their partner. We are not perfect. We make mistakes. I do not expect much out of Tyler. I expect love, respect, and laughter. Like I said, we are not perfect, but I believe that we have what makes a marriage work. We love each other, can make each other laugh, and we do no dismiss each other's feelings about serious matters. We do things that we do not necessarily want to do because we love each other. We tolerate certain things for each other. We eat each other's sometimes nasty food because we do not want to hurt each other's feelings. Those are some of the small things that make our relationship and marriage work. Also, a relationship is not a competition. If you constantly hold things over your partner's head and/or are looking for things to hold against them, there is a problem. The last thing that I want to say is that you cannot expect happiness. You want happiness, but you cannot "make" someone be happy. You have to be able to rely on each other in good times and bad. There are going to be times where happiness is not present.

I am a firm believer that there is someone out there for everyone. A relationship and a marriage are a two way street. It takes two to make one work.

Ok, I'm off my soapbox now

30 days of thankfulness- Day 19

Today I am thankful for second, third.... hundredth chances. I'm not the one being given another chance on something, but I have a family member who is being given another chance to straighten up her life. At this time, Tyler and his dad are out looking for his little sister. Well, they have found her, but they are waiting on her to call them. I pray right now that she agrees to leave with them. She has chosen a very difficult path. I know that once you taken the hard road that it can be difficult to get back on the right path. I pray that she realizes that living on the street is no way to live. She is 5 weeks away from being 19. That is no way for anyone to live, but especially someone her age. We love you, Peyton. Please make the right decision and come home.

30 days of thankfulness- Day 18

Today, I am thankful for easy days at work. I love my job but let's face it, not everyday is easy breezy. There are days where I want to give up and think that childcare is not my calling. I love working with kids. I love how they can bring light to my life. I love how you can be upset with them one minute, then in the blink of an eye, they can make a face or say something funny and it cancels out all they did. Today, I had a very easy afternoon with them. I like those days where we can have more fun than trouble.

30 days of thankfulness- Day 17

Today, I am thankful for alternatives. I am thankful that we have so many choices about so many things. Sometimes it makes things a little more difficult than we might like, but when you think about how many choices we have compared to other countries, we are priveleged. There is not much explanation to this one. I am just thankful.

30 days of thankfulness- Days 14-16

November 14th- Today would have been my dad's 53rd birthday. I miss him so much. Today, I am thankful for him. I know I mentioned him the other day in a thanfulness post, but I truly am thankful for him. We had our differences and missed time together, but I was a daddy's girl when he was living with us. I still feel him here with me sometimes. I see a lot of my dad in how Tyler is. Tyler is lively and goofy like I think of my dad. I miss him. Happy birthday, daddy!!

November 15th- Today I am thankful for my kids who kept me going while I was feeling HORRIBLE!!!!! They knew that I didn't feel good. They were exceptionally sweet for me. They even sat in my lap and talked to me about Santa Claus and Christmas.

November 16th- Today I am thankful for health insurance and antibiotics. My fever broke last night and the Nyquil did wonders, but it didn't do everything. Today I went to the doctor and got the antibiotics that I needed to bring me back to my full self. Yay!!

Why Am I Not Laughing?!

This will be a rather short post because it just basically a vent session...

Okay, so two weeks ago to this day, my friend Sarah and I had a small girls night. When I walked into the restaurant to sit down with her, I noticed one of Saline County's finest sitting at the bar. Name is not important, but I knew exactly who he was when I sat down. I know him through no way negative I will say. Anyway, as the night passed on, the bar seats started filling up and a few guys sat down next to me in between me and the deputy. One of them had more than he needed to have. That guy proceeded to "flirt" with me despite the shiny rock on my finger (sorry, some guys are pigs that doesn't phase them). He asked if Sarah and I were off work yet. He assumed that we were bartenders or waitresses. I said "I have been off work about an hour now, but I don't work here." Sarah replied the same. He didn't seem to feel stupid. I reached over to Sarah and sarcastically said "Ha, well we have a winner over here." He asked me what I did. (Here is the main idea of the post) Before I had the chance to answer, the deputy (who I believe had enough too) said, "She is a murderer." Of course he laughed because he doesn't think bad about me as a person. But I didn't think it was funny one bit even though I kind of "ha-ed." The guy who was flirting replied with "Really, you know you would be famous if you killed someone?" He said it with excitement in his voice and a smile on his face. I thought seriously dude?! What the hell?! How is something like that supposed to be funny...to anyone?

Moral of the story, it doesn't matter who you are talking to, watch what you say to someone. I know things are said that are not intended to be offensive and hurtful, but there are things you don't joke about period.

30 days of thankfulness- Day 13

Today, I am thankful for inspirational music. I used to hate whenever I would log onto Facebook and see songs posted as people's status. But there are so many songs out there that have true meaning to them and are very inspirational. The one song that comes to mind first is Martina McBride's "I'm Gonna Love You Through It." The list could go on and on. I am always listening to the radio. I know just about every country song that is played on a daily basis. To me, hearing a song like that is just like reading a scripture out of the Bible. You get back a little bit of hope that was lost. I think a lot about the words that are put into a song. One day I will have my own song written and people will hopefully admire it and find inspiration in it.

Getting in the Christmas Spirit

I honestly do not think that I have been this excited about Christmas since I was a little kid. I cannot buy gifts this year, but I am perfectly fine with that. That is not what Christmas is about, and if that is what you think, I pity you. I am excited about getting to decorate our new home. I am ready to set up our Christmas tree. Going "Hog Wild" this year. Haha!! Oh yes, I planned this last year. I bought Walmart out of red, white, and black decorations. Tyler won't let me bring the white tree in until after Thanksgiving. Seriously, he doesn't even want it in the house because he says he'll want to set it up. I don't care. I'm about to go get all of the decorations out of the office closet and start laying them out and inventory what we have and what we need. I'm like a kid again. I am already burning pine candles because I want that Christmasy smell in here. I have loaded down my Pinterest Christmas board with decorating ideas. I walked into Dollar General yesterday to look for posterboard and I saw yard stakes that were so cute I couldn't stand it. Well, obviously I could because I didn't buy them, but you know what I mean. We got our new kitchen table last week so now I have an excuse to go buy another Christmas table runner. Christmas is going to throw up in this house this year. I need to get it out of my system before I burst. I am already watching Christmas movies (right now as we speak I am watching "Christmas with the Kranks.") I am ready for our Christmas party. Last year was so much fun and I am hoping that this year is twice as fun. I love having people around this time of year. I don't know what else to say besides I'm freakin' excited.

30 days of thankfulness- Day 12

Today, I am thankful for our new house. I know we are currently renting it, but we are treating it like we will eventually buy it. It took some warming up to, but I am really enjoying it. I have something to decorate that I am proud of. I am so anxious for Christmas that I can hardly stand it. I am constantly researching decorating ideas for the house. I am full of energy and excitement. As soon as the landlord fixes the minor (yet major) things, I am ready to show it off to everyone.

30 days of thankfulness- Day 11

Today, I am thankful for our veterans. Without them, we would not have the freedom that we do. There are so many things people, myself included, take for granted. We focus on the things that we are prohibited from doing instead of all of the freedoms we do have. This country is not perfect by any means, but we have so many rights that other countries wouldn't know what to do with. Remember that.

30 days of thankfulness- Days 8-10

We have had a lot going on over the past couple of days so I haven't been able to post, but of course, I was writing my thanks down. We are getting Internet tomorrow, so hopefully I will be able to do this without skipping days.

Day 8- I am thankful for the 8th's. I know that this is going to sound weird at first, but I have my reasons. By no means am I happy that I do not have my dad here anymore with me. I miss him everyday. I was such a daddy's girl whenever I lived with him. We had our difference and missed years, but I know that my dad is where he needs to be. January 8, 2008, he passed away from cancer. He was in pain for so long, and I am thankful that that day, he was released from all pain and taken to a better place. Another 8th I am thankful for, July 8th (my birthday..enough said).

Day 9- I am thankful for a wonderful job. I may have already said this one, but I am truly thankful to be working with such great kids. They try my patience sometimes, but they bring so much light to my life. They are little comedians and they have no idea how funny they are. They have no idea how much love and light they bring into a room.

Day 10- Today, I am thankful for my family. Thanksgiving and Christmas are sneaking up on us, and I am reminded of how much their presence means to me. Without my family, I would not be here. I could not happily live my life without them. My mom is the best mother I have ever known. She does not play sides between her children (Tyler included). She goes with what is fair. She is a very fair person. She has the biggest heart of anyone I know. My little sister is my best friend. Yes, we have our differences, but I know that she is just a phone call away and 30 miles down the road. My husband is the most amazing guy I have ever met. He puts up with so much of my nonsense. He loves me unconditionally, he brings a smile to my face everyday. He warms my heart. These 3 people are the reason that I wake up everyday. They are my best friends in the whole world. And I am thankful everyday that I have them in my life.

30 days of thankfulness- Day 7

Today, I am thankful for knowing where my daddy and Carter are. I am thankful everyday for this, but it has been on my mind almost all day. My daddy had made some mistakes in his life, but he was a good guy. He missed out on some of the most important years with my sister and I, but we got to be there with him for his last 4 months on this Earth. He was an amazing writer and had always wanted to go to school to be a minister. I have one existing friend who knew my dad. She thought as highly of him as my sister and I did. People automatically assume that whenever anyone dies, that they all go to Heaven. I think that it is a wishful thought for some because they do not want to think that their loved one is in Hell. I know that my dad is in Heaven with Carter watching over all of us. Tyler said that one of the most comforting feelings despite all of the discomfort of his loss is that he can honestly say he knows where Carter is. He has explained to many people that not all parents know where their children go whenever they pass before the parents. Some parents have to worry about their children whenever they are out doing drugs and other things that are sinful. Tyler, or anyone for that matter, does not have to worry about whether Carter is safe anymore. He is in God's hands and we know that for 100% fact. It is a very comforting feeling to know that if we ever want to see him again, we know what we have to do to get there. I cannot wait for the day that I get to be with my daddy again and get to see my beautiful stepson and actually get to hear him speak words and see him running around. I am thankful for that.

30 days of thankfulness- Day 6

Today, Tyler and I are celebrating our first year of marriage. We have not slid through it effortlessly. We have had our challenges- mainly outside challenges; nevertheless, it's been challenging. Anyone who knows our story understands that means. But this has been the most amazing year of my life. I wouldn't change a thing we have been through because they are all lessons to be learned from. There is a positive spin on everything that has happened. So on day 6, I am without a doubt, VERY THANKFUL for my husband. Without him, I wouldn't have been married obviously, but I probably wouldn't still be living on my own, I wouldn't have had the opportunity to meet Carter, I wouldn't be as goal oriented as I am now, and I wouldn't have a best friend like him. Tyler has brought so much light into my life. He doesn't know how much he has really done for me. I am so proud of his accomplishments, so proud of his outlook on life, so proud to be his wife. I could go on and on and talk in circles about how much I love Tyler and the things that have made me an extremely happy woman. But I won't. Some things are better left in my heart to keep all to myself :) I can't wait to have many more years of happiness!!

30 days of thankfulness- Days 1- 5

I have a late start on posting this, but I have been writing it down.

November 1- I'm thankful for the opportunity to work with wonderful kids & teach them.

November 2- I'm thankful for friends who can be honest with me & not judge me for what I've been through.

November 3- I'm thankful for my JJ. He always makes me happy.

November 4- I'm thankful for all who can make me laugh.

November 5- I'm thankful for the opportunity to spend quality time with my husband.

Each day until the 30th, I'll post & explain more in detail what I'm thankful for.

Having an only child..

For whatever reason last night, Tyler said that people between the ages of 27 and 36 are the happiest when they have their first child. Most people by then have their finances in order, most of their goals accomplished, and just all around more mature. He also said that he only wanted one. It'll be my first, his second. I'm okay with that. I want to be able to give all of my attention to one child. I know a lot of only children. Each of them is different. I looked up statistics about having only children. I was just curious as to what the advantages and disadvantages are. I was surprised at some.

Stigmas of the only child:

• The only child is selfish and spoiled
• The only child is lonely
• The only child is more agressive
• the only child has more of a tendency to play with imaginary friends
• The only child is sickly
• The only child is needy and clingy
• The only child will have problems socializing

Traits of the only child:

• Close to parents
• Self-controlled
• A leader
• Mature
• Dependable
• Demanding
• Unforgiving
• Private
• Sensitive
• Mature beyond their age

Disadvantages:

• Too much pressure from parents to perform well
• No one to grow up with- it would be more fun with brothers and sisters
• Loneliness
• Too quiet in the house after bein outside playing with friends
• Worried about being the sole caretaker of elderly parents
• Pressure to have children to carry on the family name
• Overprotective parents
• Harder to make friends
• Will never have nieces and nephews

Advantages:

• Glad to not have to deal with siblings
• Have friends who are like brothers and sisters but don't have to live together
• Very attached to parents, have a great relationship
• More awareness of self
• Have more help pursuing goals
• More independent
• Have parents undivided attention
• Don't have to share
• Don't have to compare myself to siblings
• Don't have to fight parents for conversation

I just thought this was all interesting. Like I said, I am happy with our decision to only want one child. Carter will always be in the picture, but as far as physically existing childre, one is our limit. We think of it like how we have JJ as our only cat. He gets all the attention that he wants and does not have to share. Yes, he gets bored whenever he doesn't have another cat to play with, but he loves being our boy. This is not to say that if we had more that one child unplanned that we would not be happy, but we are doing all that we can to only have one.

Deadbeat Dad?! Know the facts!!

How many guys are called a "deadbeat dad?" How many women call the biological father of their child a "deadbeat dad?"

I looked up the true definition of one and added my own thoughts for what one is. So let's get to it.

According to The Free Dictionary, a deadbeat dad is a father who willfully defaults on his obligation to provide financial support for his offspring.

I also would like to add that they decide not to be in the picture and have no interest in the well being of their child(ren).

I was just curious about how the statistics of women scamming child support and custody rights matched up with what I thought. Exact numbers surprised me, but overall, I expected the numbers to be high. Statistics show that 75% of custodial mothers do not receive child support. That is not because of the fathers doing. Some never ask for it, don't want it, the fathers don't have the money, or have made other verbal agreements for money. Here we are for what I want women to know- only 11% of custodial mothers don't receive child support because of "deadbeat dads." When the reasons for custodial mothers not receiving child support, or not even having a child support order to begin with, are examined, it becomes clear that "deadbeat dads" are a rarity, and the current policies in place will never work. I just find it interesting that girls want to gripe about the support of their child(ren), and saying they shouldn't have to ask for money. Nobody was put on this earth to read minds. If you are set on getting money to support your child(ren), then it's your responsibility to pursue that. I don't have kids, but I do know that you can't expect guys to do stuff like women. You cannot force a verbal agreement in someone. If you want money for your child(ren), fight for it. Otherwise, don't call the father a deadbeat dad when he doesn't pay. Everyone wants to take the women's side because she is the one who is supposed to care for her child(ren) the best. We know this isn't always true, especially with us seeing all these women being questioned and charged with abuse, neglect, etc. We had rumors continuously spread about Tyler being a deadbeat dad. They had a verbal agreement. They didn't want to go through the courts. Tyler sent what he could when he could. More than court ordered child support would have required him to. He had interest in seeing Carter. She felt as if her back was against the wall whenever Tyler took my advice to ask what she needed extra money for and for him to send the items he needed versus sending the cash. Child support fraud is also a huge problem we have. I don't have any facts or statistics on this one (yet), but I know people who suffer from paternity fraud. I have a few other issues on my mind, but because I feel like statistics and facts will help me back them, and I don't have them, I will not talk about them.

I leave it here by saying my husband was as much of a father as she would allow him... And Drew, if she reads the facts, her back might be more up against the wall. Know your rights as a father. Y'all are good fathers. Far from a deadbeat dad. Loves.

Needing prayers

Friday evening I came home and Tyler informed me that his aunt called and told him that a very close friend of mine, Amber, had been in a bad car accident along with her 8 year old daughter, Jailey. Tyler's cousin text me yesterday and gave me an update. Not what I wanted to hear, but I was thankful for receiving an update. For those of you who haven't ever heard me talk about Amber, I think very highly of this lady. She has been the biggest support for us since Carter passed away. She is what a friend is supposed to be. Nothing less. She never gets annoyed when I talk about something. She always checks on me whenever she feels something isn't right. She met me and my best friend to go up to Carter's grave to decorate and clean. I have never heard anyone say a negative thing about her. They'd be lying if they did. Her daughter is the cutest and sweetest little girl. They didn't deserve this. Why do bad thinks happen to good people? The update I received last night said that Amber would be in ICU at St. Vincent's for 3-4 days and remain in the hospital for a few weeks following. She has internal injuries. Liver related. Jailey was at Children's for a broken back, a broken thumb, and a large cut on her face. She was able to come home today. We have been told that Amber is going to be okay. We just want everyone to keep them, their family, and close friends in your prayers. God will watch over them and work his miracles. We have to trust that. God is good.

We love you Amber & Jailey Garner <3

Bucket List..

I've made a bucket list before, but I have misplaced it. Actually, it might be one of my posts from last year. But I think it's time to update it. I also have a list of my 2011 year that I will post in a few months. It's currently 7:33pm. I'm gonna stop at 7:43pm with what I have. I'm sure there will be more. Here it goes.

Before I die, I want to:
1. Swim with a dolphin
2. Own my own daycare
3. Start a scholarship fund in memory of someone
4. Build a house
5. Have 2 kids
6. Visit Florida
7. Write at least one children's book
8. Finish the entire Bible
9. Save someone's life
10. Finish school with a doctorate
11. Visit all 50 states
12. Go to Las Vegas
13. Patent something
14. Own a vacation home
15. Be bill free except utilities & insurances

Okay, it's 7:43pm. I said there is more. This is just what I came up with in 10 minutes. They are pretty realistic goals and ambitions. Right? I think so. I'll update it at I think of them.

Dates & Anniversaries

From the title, this post might sound good, but I have been thinking a lot lately about dates and anniversaries... that I don't want to have to think about.

January 8, March 1, March 26, July 25, August 4, November 14

All dates I wish I didn't have to deal with. That's 6 days each year that screw with me. I know it's only 6 days, but the events that happened on these days are all death anniversaries or hospitalization days and birthdays of those who are gone. I can't help but to think about them. Almost a week out of my life.

Selling my past...

No, not really. But I HAVE to get rid of some shoes and clothes. I started emptying our closet to pack the car to move everything to the new house. Oh Mylanta!!! I can't fit all of our clothes (majority mine) in the backseat of my car. It actually upset me. Really. To the point of almost crying. It's sad.

I will be selling some stuff here in the near future. I must!! Of course, I will be reasonable with prices. I just want to get rid of it. Please, Lord, let me get rid of it all.

The New House

Finally!!!!! We have a house and are no longer renting an apartment. It feels amazing!! We can finally paint a wall, replace carpet, have a yard, build a deck, have an acre to roam and build on. Every disappointment, every failed attempt has paid off. God has blessed us. Pictures to come soon.

Putting a hold on the October giveaway

I apologize a million times already that I am going to have to cancel the giveaway this month. Tyler and I are moving into our new house and things are extremely hectic... and expensive!! I hope to get back doing it soon. It is something that really helps me and brings me joy. I want that joy in my life. I am sorry for those who have already entered for the giveaway. I hope that I have no disappointed anyone. It is just going to be too hard to have one this month, especially since we won't have Internet right away. I will be sure to let everyone know when I start another one.

Thanks!!

October Giveaway

I have finally found what I want to put in for this month's giveaway in honor of Carter. I didn't find one thing though. Yeah, I found four. But whenever the winner is chosen, the winner will get to choose which one of the four items that she wants. Although it only took me two days to find something for the giveaway, it took a lot of thought. I tossed and turned all night letting it get to me. I was looking online to find gifts, I was looking everywhere. Today, I finally decided to go to Hallmark (despite my horrendous headache) and I found these four items. I could not pick just one, so again, be thinking about which one that you want.

How to enter:

Leave a comment on the blog or on the Facebook link on which item that you would be most interested in. I would like for this to be a giveaway for mother's who have lost due to miscarriage, stillbirth, or any other type of loss, but I will put that restraint on it just yet. I will save that one for March and August (Carter's months). However, if you have lost a child, and you feel like you want me to know that, you can private message me and tell me your story. Completely optional and confidential. Remember that you have to be a mother who has lost a child, an expectant mother, or have a child that is two years of age and younger.

Ornament
"Look for the angels in your life. They are everywhere."

Stone
"All the treasures of the earth cannot bring back ONE lost moment."

Dove rock
"Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you." John 14:27

Ornament
"Guardian Angels, Protect Us, Guide Us."

Side note: I will most likely use the three items that are not chosen for this giveaway in future one. I obviously am not going to reveal prices, because this is something that I am doing for someone else (you never tell a price of a gift- duh!!), but if you are wanting to get them for someone else, I will give you the price of them. 

The deadline to enter will be Friday, October 7 at 10:00pm. The winner will be announced Saturday morning.

Good Luck!! :)

"Suffer little children, and forbid them not, to come unto me: for of such is the Kingdom of Heaven."

-Matthew 19:14

Heaven's Doves

I came across the site for Heaven's Doves. They are working on a dove for Carter. I've said before, one of the hardest things about losing someone is not having any new pictures of them. There are so many more pictures and videos of Carter than what we have right now, and hopefully soon we will get to obtain some of them. However, what pictures exist now, are all that will ever exist (unless we edit them and make new ones). Pictures are not everything, but they are cherished very much.

If you have lost a child, or know someone who has lost a child, this is a good site to go to. I can't wait to get Carter's dove in.

"Heaven's Doves"

Her Facebook page profile picture (in case you want to check the page out)

I have got to learn...

...that things do not have to be done as soon as they come into my mind. I am getting myself so worked up over things that are not worth getting worked up over. I let myself get so disappointed. I wear myself out. I have got to learn that worrying about things will get me nowhere. I have got to learn that I am not a screwup. I work very hard and wear my heart on my sleeve. I do things out of the goodness of my heart. I am a good person. I have got to learn that criticizing others about things in their life only makes me insecure and look stupid. I have got to learn to be more accepting of people's flaws. I don't want to lower my expectations of people, but I shouldn't be so quick to announce what those expectations are. I have got to learn to eliminate my distractions. I have got to learn that the more I worry about what others are saying behind my back or think about our situation, the more unhappy I will be. I have got to learn that God will take care of things the way they are meant to be taken care of.

I still have a lot to learn

October Giveaway Thoughts

First off, I would like to thank the 12 mothers who entered for the first giveaway in honor of Carter. It was a huge success (in my opinion). I can't wait to start working on and deliver Mrs. Chelsea Coleman her picture frame for the beautiful Miss Madilynn.

October 15th is "Pregnancy & Infant Loss Remembrance Day."  I want to do something really special this month. I do not have any friends that have lost a child after having spent time with him/her, but I know some who have had a pregnancy loss. So what I am trying to figure out is whether to have the rules set to those who have only had a pregnancy loss. My only worry about that is that she will not want to have something physical to remind her of that tragic time. I am up in the air about what to do for this one. I have been looking for inspiration.  When I get something figured out (which will have to be quick), I will post it. If there are any ideas that you have (only if you are not eligible to participate), let me know.

For the Love of Photography

I have always been fascinated with photography. Photographers are a dime a dozen, but I think each one has a different style that sets them apart from all of the others. I have a friend who I admire very much for what she does. She is way too modest though. She claims to not be a professional, but what is a professional anyway? She has a great attitude all of the time and a great passion for what she does. Y'all should check her page out. Very good work. 

Anyway, while I seach pretty much every night for something new on my Pinterest, I usually always skim through the new uploads on the photography page. I especially enjoy the engagement, wedding, family, and maternity pictures. There are so many ideas that you can do with those four events. But I wanted to share a few that are just out there. Ones that I... LOVE!!!!

Finally accepted it..

Most of you know that I have struggled with "baby fever" for quite some time now. People make jokes about it, but I was becoming an emotional wreck because I couldn't be a mother when I wanted to be.  I want to be a mother, don't get me wrong, but I have finally accepted that this is not the time.  I'm sure that I will have my good days and bad, just like anything else, but it is a relief to know that I accepted that my time will come.  Again, we need to let things settle down before we take on the responsibility of a child for eighteen years.  Only four years ago was I eighteen.  Seems like it took forever to get there.  I have prayed about this endlessly and I have finally received an answer that I am content with.  I won't use the work "happy."  I am content.  Other than praying about it, I have received several signs that this is not the time. One of the new girls at work today told me that she loves her son with all of her heart, but it is like having a job 24/7, only she doesn't get paid for part of it.  She said that if I have the option to wait, then wait.  I have the option of not dealing with kids after six o'clock every night.  I have friends with kids. I can get my fix in at work and with my friend's kids. I have felt guilty for a while too. I am not sure why I allowed myself to feel guilty about something like this, but that uncertainty didn't stop me from feeling that way.  I think it is because I have so many girls around me with kids, most in which were not planned, so I feel like I was being selfish by saying that I didn't want to try to have a kid. But now I realize, I am selfish, and that is okay. I am not ready for my body to go through that, especially with the problems that I have anyway. I want to finish my education before I have a baby because I want to be able to spend my time with him/her instead of trying to juggle first-time motherhood, a full-time job (I would hope), and being a student.  I wouldn't have time to be selfish then, but I have a feeling I would grow bitter because of exhaustion. I get stressed out too easily. We have to deal with the financial aspect of it as well. Someone once told me that you are never financially ready for a child. I know people who save for years just for that. They have been just fine. You can be financially ready. But that is another conversation. And I've saved this part for last- Carter. I have put so much into keeping his memory alive, that I am honestly deep down afraid that I wouldn't have time to do all of what I do if we have a baby.  That sounds crazy, but it's a real fear. I will never forget him; nobody will.  But it is just like having another child once you have had your first. You still pay attention to the oldest, but it is not all about him/her anymore. Even if Tyler and I only have one child, he will still have two. We will style have two to love and cherish. Carter is not gone. I like to think of him as hiding in the clouds. (Shut up). When you are lost on how to cope with a loss like that, you try to put a little bit of humor to the situation. (Nothing wrong with that). Enough time has not passed in Tyler's eyes, and while I said that I was selfish, I am not that selfish. I respect his wishes and his feelings as far as having a baby goes. We have agreed that if it happens unexpectedly, that we would make it work, but we have so much going on with just us that it would not be good to have one more thing to worry about. In saying all of that, I hope that y'all have realized that I have truly accepted that it is not our time.  It is hard for me to accept anything that goes against what I am passionate about. This is a huge thing for me, and I proud of myself for coming to this conclusion.

Something to think about..

I was reading a fellow blogger's newest post last night and something she had posted just kind of hit me.  We have to decide whether we believe that God took our loved ones or whether he received them.  I have thought of a million things since I lost my dad and since Carter passed away.  But this is one thing that I have never thought of deeply.  Sometimes I don't know what I think.  But last night, I really thought about this one.  I choose to believe that God received them.  We serve a selfless God so why would he take an innocent child away from those who love him?  And why would he have taken my dad?  I think that he took them out of pain, but he certainly did not take them from us for his own selfish needs. He had received them and those he has are an inspiration to those of us who are still here. They are up there pushing us to work hard, to our best, love with all that we have, forgive those of their wrongdoings, and encourage us to make it through the golden gates when our day gets here. 

Pinterest & Etsy... LOVE!!

I spend the majority of my time searching for new ideas from Pinterest and Etsy.  I once started an account on Etsy but realized how much of a rip off it was to have money taken from me after selling my own creations. Anyway, I still search though!! I have found some really cute stuff, and things that I see inspire me and spark some creativity.  I experimented with some canvas today, and I am very pleased with how they turned out.

Each of them are $20 in case you are interested.  The middle one is of course personalized for us, but I can personalize them for you as well.  I am about to start working on family canvas.  I am super excited. It brings me joy to paint something for someone. I am so thankful that I came across these two websites.  I have uploaded a few things onto Pinterest and I hope to sell them. Wish me luck!!