Working through the anger.. Little by little

Angry? ...Just a little

I am having a very difficult time with some things right now. I know that I am not supposed to live angry, but I am having my moments. Everyone does. Don't fault me. 

I am completely distracted by the happenings of the past week. I am trying to find the strength to just take 10 seconds to breathe in and out, but I am failing. I am struggling to find nice words to "those who help." 

I wish for 1 day that I could stop thinking. Even relaxing places trigger memories. Colors. Sounds. Whatever. I've always knocked people who can't think, but what I would give to just stop thinking. For a day. Is that too much to ask?

I have so many things that I am blessed with. So many caring people in my life, but I am too overwhelmed to keep that in front of everything else in my mind. This crap doesn't even deserve to be in the back of my mind. 

I can't help but to think when I am laying in bed, waiting to fall asleep. I woke up last night because I swore I heard someone calling my name. I mean, nobody lives here except me, Tyler, and JJ. And I'm pretty positive that JJ didn't call my name. If so, he needs to be checked out, and soooo do I.  But, I can't describe the voice. I just know someone called me. I never got up
though. And I never responded. 

Anger, I believe, is an underlying cause of this. I am so angry with all of this stuff. All of the lies people tell. All of the denial people live in. It's breaking me down. And I'm showing it. Not cool. I play no part in this other than the defenseless Kim. I don't fight back. I know I'm in the right, and I know where my place is.

I wish people could just BE REAL!! I feel like people fake sincerity towards me. I am an anger person at the moment. So what. I have a plan on working through that. But like anything big, it takes time. 

What little strength I do have, God is giving me. (And Day/Nyquil). He will give me strength and wisdom. This is a work in progress. Slow. But progress.