Carter has been on our minds, very much, lately. A couple weeks ago, before his first birthday, Tyler told me that when I was ready, he was ready for us to have a baby. I'm ready in some ways, but not in others. God will let it happen when it's supposed to happen. I was a little shocked that he said that seeing as how hard it's been on him with Carter. But he realized there is no better feeling than being a parent, and he knows he'll appreciate our baby, and get another chance to do the things he missed out on with Carter.
We started contemplating baby names. Talking out combinations.
[ 5 names.. 2 boys, 3 girls.. ]
I've always wanted a boy, and I know he'll love another boy. Of course, we'll love either just the same. I just think there is a special bond between and mother and son. (and I'm not a huge fan of pink)
We talk all the time about the things Carter would be doing if he was here. Talking & walking (hopefully), playing outside in the grass, throwing our phones in the toilet, terrorizing JJ. Amidst all of those thoughts, we still see a 5 month old baby, or at least I do. Doctors saying he would always have problems and probably be blind and/or paralyzed. So it's hard to think how things would be. I caught myself last week on his birthday saying "this wasn't supposed to happen." The hardest thing to realize in life is that everything that happens, IS supposed to happen. It's a tough realization.
So, whether we have our goals accomplished or not, baby will come
when God wants him/her to. It'll happen whether we want it to or not. We aren't as powerful as we thought.. Ha!!
Please continue to pray for us as we approach this new journey.
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