The hardest thing to do is not wonder why things are the way that they are. When someone close to you dies, the first question is "Why?" "Why did this have to happen to ___?"
I always wonder this. Our lives work just fine the way they are, but sometimes we'll lay there at night with JJ, and wonder what it would be like to have Carter in his spot.
I wonder why God made it to where I had to dance with my father-in-law, and Tyler dance with my mother at our wedding. It wasn't supposed to be like that. Carter was supposed to be our ring bearer. My dad was supposed to give me away.
I have been questioning God a lot lately. About the missing people in our lives. I can't help it. Especially at night when I should have my stepson in the next room. And when I should be able to call my dad or mother-in-law and talk to them when I needed someone to talk to.
That's about all I've had on my mind lately. I know God will forgive me for questioning Him. I mentioned a few posts ago that everything that has happened was supposed to happen. But I having a hard time with it even though I know it is true.
I know that God will give me the strength to fully understand this when I am ready to. Prayers.
(Also, please pray for my second mom's mother. She is not doing very well, but is continuing to hold on despite her severe lack of strength. The power of prayer. It helped Carter and my dad hold on as long as they did. Please pray for her and my whole second family.)
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