RiP DaviD PauL LonG [11.14.58- 1.8.09]

I only have 2 friends that I still keep in contact with regularly that know my dad.  Everyone else has only seen pictures.  I lost about 6 years with him due to his addiction to alcohol.  He lost his rights to us after he decided to take us to work with him one day, in which was at a nearby liquor store.  I was too young to really think there was anything wrong with that.  I was very angry with my mom when she decided to divorce him.  I was in the 5th grade the day he moved out, and I remember being on the playground, and just crying.  I had always been a daddy's girl.  He only made a few payments to child support then he quit.  Of course, that I didn't understand either.  I didn't see him sober much unless my grandparents were staying at the house.  Then, he would pour it out.  I remember one thing he said "I can go a day without beer, just as long as I can still smoke."  Then why couldn't he go 2 days without beer... 3 days... forever??  I also remember the last time I heard his voice, besides watching old home videos.  It was in 7th grade and he called me, I didn't want to talk to him, but he said something and it upset me so I told never to call me again.  Little did I know that was actually the last time I was ever going to hear him.  I didn't see him again til the summer after I graduated.  Coincidentally, a guy I had dated for a little bit, his stepdad was my dad's best friend.  The night went ok, until the end, and I asked for someone to take me home.  He didn't even look like my dad.  For a while, I thought he was sick from lung cancer, but now it makes sense why it was esophageal.  He literally corroded the whole inside of his body.  But he was still my dad.  And despite everything that happened, things that I did and didn't understand, I still loved him with all my heart. The last thing I ever saw him write was "Please don't leave."  It took him about 6 pages to write it.  He kept messing up and getting upset and marking it out because it wasn't legible.  It was only a matter of weeks before he was put back into the hospital.  It was time for him to go.  I don't ever want to relive something like that again.  I miss my dad everyday.  I missed him walking me down the aisle and giving me away.  I wish so much that he could've met Tyler.  I wish he could've been here PHYSICALLY for it all.  I miss him during the holidays.  I miss him all the time.  I love you dad!!

A poem that my dad wrote me, I'll cherish forever :)

Kimberly, You're loved.
No matter what you hear,
Your daddy loves you.
Is that clear?

Baby I tried,
But somehow "failed."
I should have been quiet
And guess I yelled.

You are so pretty,
You're easy on the eyes!
But look at your Mom,
There's no surprise.

Baby, I love you.
Keep that at heart!
You are so sweet,
Not to mention SMART!!

Love you baby, Dad