If Heaven had a phone number...

I have seen people post this status several times but I had a genuine conversation with someone about this the other day. She asked me if Heaven had a phone number who are three people I would call and what would I ask them or talk to them about? It didn't take much thought, but I was glad to have the conversation with her. So, to answer for everyone else, if Heaven had a phone number, I would call Carter, my dad, and my mother-in-law.

To Carter, I would ask him how he was doing and tell him that I love him very much. I would tell him how wonderful his daddy is. I would let him know that we think about him everyday. I would tell him about all of the things that we have done to keep his memory alive. I would ask him who hurt him. I would ask him if he realized that his daddy and I had his best interest at heart and trusted that we love him dearly. I would ask him if he is proud of both of us (mainly Tyler).

To my dad, I would also tell him that I love and miss him. I would ask him why he didn't want to quit smoking and drinking so much. I would ask him what his one piece of sound advice would be. I would ask him if he was proud of me for picking such an amazing man to be part of my life. I would ask him what the one thing he could do if he came back on Earth would be. I would ask him if he remembered us being in the hospital with him while he took his final breaths. I would ask him if he still loves my mom.

To my mother-in-law, I would tell her that I wish I could have met her. I would tell her that I have found an amazing partner in her son. I would tell her to that she was a very beautiful woman. I would ask her if she is proud of her son and all of his accomplishments. I would ask her if she approves of me to be her daughter-in-law. I would also ask her what would be the one thing she would do if she could come back on this Earth for a moment.

I know that it seems like I live off of "what-ifs." I honestly think that a lot of people do. We just don't all like to be honest about how we truly feel about many things. I am not afraid to express my feelings and talk to people who "aren't there." It is a part of life. It is not weird to write letters to people who have passed, nor is it weird to just sit down, look up, or close your eyes and just talk to that person. Personally, it is a good way of coping for me. That's all I have to say about that.

So, if Heaven had a phone number, who are three people that you would call and what would you say to them or ask them?

30 days of thankfulness- Day 7

Today, I am thankful for knowing where my daddy and Carter are. I am thankful everyday for this, but it has been on my mind almost all day. My daddy had made some mistakes in his life, but he was a good guy. He missed out on some of the most important years with my sister and I, but we got to be there with him for his last 4 months on this Earth. He was an amazing writer and had always wanted to go to school to be a minister. I have one existing friend who knew my dad. She thought as highly of him as my sister and I did. People automatically assume that whenever anyone dies, that they all go to Heaven. I think that it is a wishful thought for some because they do not want to think that their loved one is in Hell. I know that my dad is in Heaven with Carter watching over all of us. Tyler said that one of the most comforting feelings despite all of the discomfort of his loss is that he can honestly say he knows where Carter is. He has explained to many people that not all parents know where their children go whenever they pass before the parents. Some parents have to worry about their children whenever they are out doing drugs and other things that are sinful. Tyler, or anyone for that matter, does not have to worry about whether Carter is safe anymore. He is in God's hands and we know that for 100% fact. It is a very comforting feeling to know that if we ever want to see him again, we know what we have to do to get there. I cannot wait for the day that I get to be with my daddy again and get to see my beautiful stepson and actually get to hear him speak words and see him running around. I am thankful for that.

Thanks To Those Who Serve Us.. & Their Families

My dad has been really heavy on my heart today.  I miss him everyday, but some days, his absense hits me hard.  I know that sounds weird to those who know me, because only 2 of my friends knew my dad.  Which obviously meant he wasn't around... ever!! But he is my dad, nevertheless, and I miss him.

My dad was a wonderful poet.  He was always writing.  It was his special talent.  I only have a few poems that he wrote, though.  One was personalized to me.  And the other one, we had published in the Arkansas Democrat Gazette for his final Christmas present.  He didn't really know what we had done at this point, but we thought it would be a nice thing to do. 

My dad wasn't in the armed forces, but he was a soldier.  He fought his battle of cancer for several years.  Fought until he couldn't fit anymore.  I have a few friends who have family in the military, all branches, and I thought they might like to read this.  He wrote this poem for the ones who fight for us and help us keep our freedom.

"They Gave Their Lives"

Some of our Veterans,

Fought hard and died.

Just to show,

They had some pride.

They fought for us,

High in demand.

To protect us,

And our land.

Some come home,

Others were lost.

Many bad feelings,

Many tossed.

God be with their families,

Kids and wives.

It was for us,

They gave their lives.

-David P. Long

Picture courtesy of Google Images

Thanks to all that serve our country and to the families who support them.

We truly ARE the "Home of the Brave."

GOD BLESS

Scholarship Fund (Idea)

One of my goals in life is to start a scholarship fund. I dream big, I know. But this is something I have really wanted to do since I lost my dad. And after Tyler lost Carter, the idea remained on the table. It takes a large amount of money to start a scholarship fund. However, it's doable. My family is one of the most together and supportive families you'll ever meet. The money and support will be there if we decide to do this. Names haven't been discussed, nor has the purpose of it been discussed. The idea is just on the table, and being heavily thought about. Feel free to send your ideas or comments our way. Especially if you are familiar with both cases, have done work like this before, or are just simply interested in helping if this becomes set-in-stone.

Thanks

Always On Our Minds & In Our Hearts

I miss you everyday, Dad.
I hope you know.
It took everything out of me
To sit there next to you and watch you go.

I was always a daddy's girl.
I loved going anywhere with you.
You were my best friend.
And the one I would run to.

I hated not having you there to walk me down the aisle.
You were supposed to give me away.
I hadn't cried about it in a while.
But it seems like you went away just yesterday.

It's been 2 years since you went on to Heaven.
I'll always miss you, whether you've been gone 5 years, 6, or 7.

Tell my stepson and mother in law I say "hi."
One day, I will be up there with y'all, high in the sky.

I love you, Dad.
I hope you know.
We'll see you again soon.
Your always in our hearts, we'll never let go.

A Wonderful Christmas

This Christmas was wonderful!! Of course a few people were missing, and greatly missed, but we had a great time with our families. Friday night, we went to Dardanelle to my sister in laws, and had a great time, as usual. And Saturday, we had Christmas with my mom and sister. My uncle went to Huntsville, Alabama, where they had a good amount of snow on the ground christmas morning. It was Caleb's (9 years old) first time to see snow. We had lots of great food, movie time, and laughs over the past 3 days!! I enjoyed every bit of it. I know it's not about presents, but we all got a lot of good stuff. I've never had so much fun on Christmas as I did this year. I was so ready for it this year. It was kinda hard not having everyone together, and not having Carter, my dad, and my mother in law here. But it's ok. Part of Carter came back December 23rd. And my dad is everywhere I carry him, and Tyler and I went through old pictures of his mom a few nights ago. They were here. Just wish physically, ya know. Nevertheless, it was a great Christmas, as I said!! We already planned our Christmas tree for next year.... RAZORBACKS, baby!!!!!!! Can't wait. Hopefully we'll be in our new house by then. Which leads me to this... We're moving in June!! And WE ARE READY!! The most important thing in life is family. That's why. And the where is TBA!! Many happy Christmases to come :)) Hope everyones was great, too!!

To end, I want to congratulate our best friends Ashlyn Hammons & Justin Moore on their engagement.... It's about freakin time ;))) lol. Love y'all!!

RiP DaviD PauL LonG [11.14.58- 1.8.09]

I only have 2 friends that I still keep in contact with regularly that know my dad.  Everyone else has only seen pictures.  I lost about 6 years with him due to his addiction to alcohol.  He lost his rights to us after he decided to take us to work with him one day, in which was at a nearby liquor store.  I was too young to really think there was anything wrong with that.  I was very angry with my mom when she decided to divorce him.  I was in the 5th grade the day he moved out, and I remember being on the playground, and just crying.  I had always been a daddy's girl.  He only made a few payments to child support then he quit.  Of course, that I didn't understand either.  I didn't see him sober much unless my grandparents were staying at the house.  Then, he would pour it out.  I remember one thing he said "I can go a day without beer, just as long as I can still smoke."  Then why couldn't he go 2 days without beer... 3 days... forever??  I also remember the last time I heard his voice, besides watching old home videos.  It was in 7th grade and he called me, I didn't want to talk to him, but he said something and it upset me so I told never to call me again.  Little did I know that was actually the last time I was ever going to hear him.  I didn't see him again til the summer after I graduated.  Coincidentally, a guy I had dated for a little bit, his stepdad was my dad's best friend.  The night went ok, until the end, and I asked for someone to take me home.  He didn't even look like my dad.  For a while, I thought he was sick from lung cancer, but now it makes sense why it was esophageal.  He literally corroded the whole inside of his body.  But he was still my dad.  And despite everything that happened, things that I did and didn't understand, I still loved him with all my heart. The last thing I ever saw him write was "Please don't leave."  It took him about 6 pages to write it.  He kept messing up and getting upset and marking it out because it wasn't legible.  It was only a matter of weeks before he was put back into the hospital.  It was time for him to go.  I don't ever want to relive something like that again.  I miss my dad everyday.  I missed him walking me down the aisle and giving me away.  I wish so much that he could've met Tyler.  I wish he could've been here PHYSICALLY for it all.  I miss him during the holidays.  I miss him all the time.  I love you dad!!

A poem that my dad wrote me, I'll cherish forever :)

Kimberly, You're loved.
No matter what you hear,
Your daddy loves you.
Is that clear?

Baby I tried,
But somehow "failed."
I should have been quiet
And guess I yelled.

You are so pretty,
You're easy on the eyes!
But look at your Mom,
There's no surprise.

Baby, I love you.
Keep that at heart!
You are so sweet,
Not to mention SMART!!

Love you baby, Dad