Ever since before Carter was born, all Tyler could talk about are things that he wanted to do with him and what kind of toys he wanted to buy him. Christmas is one of the hardest times for Tyler, whether he shows it or not. It seems like everywhere we go, he is picking up big toys saying "If Carter were here..." He smiles when he says it because I can tell he thinks about the fun he would be having, but you know it has to hurt him deep down. There really isn't much to say about it. It is what it is. It's a feeling that cannot be explained, nor can be understood by anyone who has never experienced something like this. I have said that so many times that it is probably becoming annoying. But it's true. It's hard. There is no other word that fits the situation as much as...hard. Everyone who is able to buy toys for their child(ren) this year, cherish it. You don't know how lucky you are. You really cannot imagine your life without them.
So, we will just have to settle with our imaginary moments, what we think things would be like, and be thankful that we DO know where to find him. We are only spending our days without him in our presence. He is still...and always...in our hearts.
We love you, Carter Greyson Shaw!! Merry 2nd Christmas, baby!!!
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